self moo-moo

February 4th, 2007
Dear Heavenly Father,

Here I am once again. Shaken with fear for all the things that I have become.
Crying out to You, crying for my self. For my responsibilities, for all blessed privilege that should have bring me closer, not further from You.

Father, gives me strength! Let me feel Your blessings not for the fulfillment of my desires, but for the privilege and responsibility that is.

Let me examine my pride, my dreams and personal beliefs. Never should it be, standing against what You want for me. For I am so afraid, that I am lost in the never ending tasks of life. Losing control, govern by selfishness, pride. Driven, with words that should never be said.

For I am lost in my tasks, losing the time to care, losing the time to listen. Living, in isolation of mindless drive of worldly solutions. Soften my heart O lord, never let it dries from lack of use. Let me seek for the chance to understand others. When my days are long, never let the times fly. Hold me, so I am saved from the things that I must do. May Your Will still be the foremost in my mind, and my decisions are taken at Your presence. Forgive me Father, for putting You aside.

My Lord, My God, let all abundant blessings be seen through Your Eyes. Not by my standards, nor by my expectations. May my complains be silenced as I wait upon Your time. My anger and bitterness cease polluting my words. May all impatience and bitterness O God, be laid down at Your Feet.

Lord, help me understand, let not a single day passes where complains are justified, anger and dissolution defines who I am. Destroy my defenses O Lord, my fortress of justification. Let it crumbled before Your Loving Wisdom.

Let my life stays at Your Path. My mind stays with Your Will, so my consciousness be govern by Your Word, and my weak self be Your instrument, nothing more and nothing less. Let my prayers rejuvenated O Lord. Make me live my life as You want.